apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
