My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
