A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
