If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
