before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Randomize
