We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
