jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
