Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
foreskin is a definite game changer
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
