Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
