idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
