ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
