the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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