Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
