so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my vag is so smooth its legendary
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
