watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
