I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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