Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
