He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She bit a glass in half.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
