i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
not ubering you a puppy
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
