I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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