I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
