Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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