I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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