I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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