I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
