I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
