well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
