Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
