Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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