I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
