He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Holy sore nipples Batman
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
