Quick, to the slutcave!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My ass is underappreciated
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
