She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
