You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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