your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
