I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
