You really coming over, don't trick.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
