I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
