Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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