My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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