Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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