Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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