The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
