would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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