1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
