Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
