just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
