is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
