That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
