sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
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