i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
