jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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