Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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