Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
